Review: Tantus Vamp

IMG_20140605_213254464There are other reviews in my queue, I know, but exceptions needed to be made.

The Tantus Vamp is my absolute favorite thing to put in my vagina at the moment. Yes, more than the Comet G Wand, my most beloved, giver of ejaculation. Yes, more than any other dildo I currently own. Yes, more than my own fingers (though that is a given; I’m terrible at fingerbanging myself).

It’s just so fucking great, okay? Like, great.

10/10

IMG_20140605_213427818I got the Vamp in the recent Tantus Grab Bag Sale. It was 40% off, which means I got it for less than eleven dollars. That’s right, at full price, a grab bag edition of the Tantus Vamp is $16.99. Which, even with Tantus’ cheapest shipping ($12.99) you’re getting a high-quality, medical-grade silicone dildo for less than $30. This is, like, the best deal you’ll ever get (that is probably not true. But it’s close to true). It is, of course, only great if you don’t care that you might get a strange color. Grab bag editions from Tantus mean you get surprised by what color it is, and it’s likely to not be standard. My Vamp is a dark purple–not quite as dark as the midnight purple color my Ryder comes in but much, much closer to that than the lavender-y Purple Haze that is a standard color for the Vamp. It’s lovely. (For the record, my Echo Handle, which I also got from the recent grab bag sale, is a realistic-ish vanilla color with a couple spidery lines of darker in it that I keep mistaking for cat hair and trying to wipe off. More on that in another post.)

The Vamp has a little bit of girth. Now, while my sex toy collection is not extensive, I’ve had adventures with other people’s fingers (and a few sex toys) that have indicated I like that. Adventures of my own have confirmed that, as well as indicated that I’m less into length. The Vamp is currently the biggest dildo I own; at it’s thickest, around the coronal ridge, it’s 5.5″ inches in circumference, and a little more than 1.75″ inches in diameter. It’s 5″ and 1.75″ down on the shaft. It’s a little less than 8″ long, a little more than 6.5″ being usable. That is about the extent I can go (vaginally, at least) in length–I never want anything longer, and I rarely bottom out with it, although I technically can do so. It’s certainly the largest dildo I own, but it’s not difficult to take. I personally don’t need a warm-up for it, but some people might. I do need a little bit of water-based lube, but a little goes a long way for me. There’s some texture on the head and the shaft that hints at veins and skin, but it’s not overly realistic. I mean, it looks like a dick. But it doesn’t look exactly like one.

This is a straighter dildo, not necessarily designed for g-spotting, but it has a magnificent coronal ridge. It might be a bit much for some people, if you’re not into ridges, but personally, I love that ridge. It drags along my g-spot, and the front wall of my vagina perfectly without me trying, which means that if I want something else, I can easily work for it  If I angle my wrist just a little, I can get it to nail my g-spot just right. If I want it to scrape my g-spot even more, I can apply more pressure easily.  There’s an immense satisfaction when it slides in. I can spend a lot of time just popping it in and out of my vagina, stimulating my entrance. I adore it. There’s also sort of a secondary ridge–sort of vaguely reminiscent of foreskin pulled back–that is also great. Like an aftershock of ridginess. This ridge is what makes this dildo, for me, fucking fantastic. I’ve had fantasies about this ridge. I have squirted all over it. This is a dildo for thrusting. (Shallow thrusting–too deep and it can be cervix bruising, but the Vamp rewards vigor handsomely, like the time I had three orgasms with it in the shower and then realized my arm was sore later.)

Additionally, while this dildo isn’t really curved, it does sort of lean forward, which means, when I insert it almost fully, its head stimulates my anterior fornix in just the way I like it. I can just get it in the right spot, get the heel of my palm on the base, and grind, albeit lightly. If I push too hard in the wrong way, it bumps up against my cervix in a way that’s (usually) less fun. But I’m really growing to like A-spot play (which I discovered a few months ago with my first glass dildo), and this dildo is super compatible with my anatomy in that respect. It’s a different feeling than stimulating my g-spot, and generally I don’t squirt, but my orgasms can be just as intense as if I did when I’ve got a vibe on my clit and a good grind into my anterior fornix going.

So maybe I don’t squirt every time with the Vamp, but I’m so busy having a love affair with everything about it that I don’t even care.  I’m having spectacular orgasms anyway, even if I don’t always squirt. It’s saving me on laundry. Who needs squirting. No, wait. I take that back. That went way too far.

The Vamp is your typical Tantus silicone, which means it’s glossy and lovely and doesn’t eat lube like many silicones do…but it does devour lint like it’s a lint roller. (And cat hair. Let’s not even talk about cat hair.) The Grab Bag dildos come in simple plastic bags, but they’re not thick enough for storage, nor do they reseal (somewhere there’s a company that sells their sex toys in sturdy resealable plastic bags, I read a review of one once and should have bookmarked it, because storage. I store all my Tantus stuff in plastic snack bags, to avoid any accidental silicone bonding and also prevent as much lint collection as possible, although a quart ziploc is not quite big enough to seal closed around the Vamp. You probably want to rinse it off before using. Cleanup is a cinch–antibacterial soap and water. If you want to sterilize you can use a 10% bleach solution or boil for three minutes.

I don’t know if I’d recommend this toy for beginners–it’s a little thick, and the coronal ridge could be a bit much for some. But if you know you can handle the girth (or you want a step up from an average thickness to something a little bit thicker than average without going full-on size queen), and you like texture or ridges, there is no reason to not be snapping this dildo up like…something you snap up really quickly, I don’t know.

If you’re not picky on color, the Grab Bag Vamp is available for $16.99 at Tantus. Its properly colored bro is available at Tantus for $48.14 and PinkCherry for $39.99 (in cream) and $49.99 (in Purple Haze). It’s also available at SheVibe right now for $32.29 (in Purple Haze) and $33.99 in cream.

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