Review: Icicles No. 5

Sex toys made of glass are pretty awesome. Here’s why:

1. To the unwary ear, they make you look hardcore as fuck. You put glass in your sensitive bits? Hell yes I do.
2. They have weight that toys made of more common materials don’t. A glass toy is heavy.
3. They’re easy to clean–like your drinking glasses and your pyrex, they’re dishwasher safe. You could spray it down with clorox if you wanted (though I’d recommend washing it with something a little more gentle before using it internally). They’re nonporous. While drastic temperature change is not recommended with glass, borosilicate/pyrex toys can still be boiled (just put the toy in the water well before it starts to boil), and all glass toys are super easy to sanitize with a 10% bleach solution.
4. They don’t eat lube the way silicone does; the material itself is smooth even if the textures are extreme, which is good, because:
5. They don’t have any give. Clenching around a glass toy is a vastly different, and more intense, feeling than clenching around a toy that is made of silicone, even very firm silicone.
6. Many are made of Pyrex-type (borosilicate) glass. Which means a) they’re hard to break, b) if, god forbid, they do break, they break into large chunks that are easier to clean up and less likely to cut you, and c) haven’t you always wanted a sex toy made out of the same stuff that’s been a staple of your kitchen since you lived in a dorm room and didn’t have a kitchen? Because I have. Or at least, when I heard they existed, I thought Pyrex glass sex toys sounded like the most radical thing in the world. Maybe that’s just me. (some glass toys, like the drool-worthy Fucking Sculptures, are made of soda-lime glass, which, while not quite as resistant to temperature change as borosilicate glass (don’t boil!), are just as safe, just as difficult to break, just as non-porous, and allow for different effects with regards to color and design).
7. It conducts temperature well, so putting the toy in warm or cool water, or sticking it in the fridge for a bit, can make for some awesome temperature play.
8. Should you drop it, thus either breaking it or ruining its integrity (don’t use a glass toy if you’ve dropped it on a hard surface, sort of like your bicycle helmet), you can recycle it!

Basically, glass toys are awesome, and I knew that well before I ever owned one.

9/10